Date:	2007-05-15 23:18
Subject:	FUCK. LIVEJOURNAL. KNNCCBXZX.
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	The Big Guns (Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins)

Kids, I fucking hate Livejournal because it's pissing me off. I'm sorry for troubling you guys so much lah, please change your links and stuff BACK to educatedguess.blogspot.com.

I'M REALLY SORRY LAH, KNNCCBZXZ. I just fucking hate LJ, it's really damn annoying. I was wrong, guys. LJ is totally NOT FUN and NOT COOL. Blogger is the absolute best (and easiest to edit the HTML).

Sorry again lah, nabei. Eh, if you're a true fan of Jules, you wouldn't mind this change horzxz. :) Love you all!

- J.

Date:	2007-05-14 22:36
Subject:	KNOW YOUR ONION!
Security:	Public
Mood:	cranky
Music:	Tidal Wave (The Apples In Stereo)

Zaky called me after work today and asked when I was going to leave because he wants to organise something with the old gang from CMG. It was really awesome hearing from him, even though our conversation went something like this:

Zak: "Ohh, so you're working in a cafe? Where?"
Me: "[CENSORED FOR FEAR OF STALKERS], dude."
Zak: "[CENSORED FOR FEAR OF STALKERS]? Cool. Does that mean that if I go there, I'll get a free drink or something?"
Me: "Sure man. I'll just shit in your drink lah."

Work wasn't fun today, mainly because everybody was in a pissy mood and there were rumours about a new hidden camera in the outlet. Fuck niah, how to have sex on the bar top/masturbate with the coffee machine now? I couldn't even adjust my shirt without feeling self-conscious.

Mel's coming back in ONE WEEK'S TIME! Oh happy happy, joy joy. But of course, someone is going to be bringing her boyfriend back too so if that certain someone is going to neglect her bestest best fwenzxz for her boyfriend, I'm going to disown her and spend the rest of my time wallowing in self pity because I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND TO NEGLECT MY FRIENDS FOR. Knnccbzxz~~!1!@!

FREE ADVERTORIAL:
Oh hey. If you've got an event coming up and would like to spice it up a little, head over to Prah's site. She's Indian, A Tarot Card Reader and Charbs&Co's resident mystical goddess. She's been reading cards for close to three years now and have given many satisfying readings. And even if your cards spell 'DEATH DEATH DEATH', she'll definitely be able to find a way to give you the good side of things. That's how fantastic she is. :)


(Click on the banner to find out more at her site.)

... I need to start charging people for these advertorials. Goddamnit.

Date:	2007-05-13 14:21
Subject:	PLANET UNICORN, HEYYY!
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	Red Rabbits (The Shins)

(You would've prolly noticed the change in template. To be completely honest, I'd TRIED modifying my last template but changing shit on LJ is damn difficult, so I gave up and decided to use one of their own templates. -_- Yes, I gave up. You win, LJ. You win.)

It's been a motherfucking confusing few days. Good, but still very very confusing. A lot of things have happened and it has made me wonder if Khid's theory about me leaving is right after all.

I've succumbed to peer pressure and gotten myself a Facebook account. Now that I do have it, would someone be so kind as to teach me how to use that goddamn cheebye annoying thing? -_- Add me also eh, because I wouldn't know how to add you as a friend - suckeggs@gmail.com.

Spent the whole of Friday + half of Saturday at Ade's playing mahjong, poker and getting random readings from Indian, A Tarot Card Reader. :) And even though I had a short bout of emo-ness and decided to go downstairs to smoke alone for a while, it was a good night. After everyone else left, we started doing random readings off the Internet and watching videos. WM is an asshole because Planet Unicorn's gay shit theme song is constantly stuck in my head now. -_-

A gay boy wished for a planet full of unicorns! Planet Unicorn! Unicorn Planet! Give it up for Feathers! Ooooh Cadillac! And Tom Cruise Whoaaaaa! Planet Unicorn HEYYY!

And Marilyn Manson's Heart Shaped Glasses video is just dumb. I don't see the point of having the entire video revolve around him and Evan Rachel Wood having sex. Can fuck in blood somemore, what the hell right. It was totally random!

Of course I played with Ade's MacBook. Can't wait to get mine. The Photobooth function is going to keep me very entertained for a long time.




Hahahahahahahahahhahaha knnccbzxz. Yes, I'm such an ugly camwhore.


L - R: Balls Balraju, Anus Ang, Lady (Un)Lardy and Cheebye Chong/Cherry Tits Chong.

I like my job enough and love spending time with Dino&Delf buuuut I'm glad that it's ending soon. There're so many people I need to see and spend endless days with. My mum's been bugging me to list down all the things that I'm going to need when I'm there and while making that list, I suddenly felt like crying. It's not that I don't want to leave, it's just fucking difficult to.

But I'll survive. And three years later, you're going to see Jules being all educated and fat from all that fried food in Perth. Cheebye niah. 'Hey guys, I'm baaaack. Let's go mum-mum! Yayyyyy, mum-mum! I ... hungryyyyyyyyyy!!'

I don't know how to end this post because I'm damn distracted by my msn conversations. So I'll just put up all the quotes that I'd managed to remember:

Prah: "Eh guys, I don't get it. The gay boy wished for a planet full of unicorns, but we only see three."
Moo: "Maybe we'll see them all in later episodes lah."
Me: "Yeh, like how they only saw the watercorns (unicorns living in water) in the third episode."
Prah: "Hmm, yeh. Maybe they'll see the aircorns next."
(Pause)
Prah: "OMG GUYS HAHAHAH AIRCORNS GET IT AIRCONS HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!"

WM: "Omgsz. You know I woke up this morning and went down to my toilet, and GUESS WHAT I SAW?!"
Me: "Don't know. What?"
WM: "I saw like, duckweed diarrhoea all over my toilet bowl! Like floating and shit!"
Me: "Omg, fuck! What, your brother?!"
WM: "Yeeesss! And because when I'd just woke up, the last thing I expected to see was a toiletbowl full of shit so for five full seconds, all I could do was stand there staring at the toiletbowl going 'nngh nngh'. Then the smell hit me and I was like FUCK WTF IS THIS FUCK!"
Me: "HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA THEN?"
WM: "Then my mother walked in and told me that my brother is having exams today, so he's nervous. I was like, 'Hello? Does being nervous mean not knowing how to flush toilets anymore?!'"

Sal: "Eh pui-eh." -_-

Sal: "Yeh, that one looks like he comes from a third world country." (Okay lah, that was fucking mean but still, pretty funny.)

Moo: "Omg, I was the Pope in my past life! Pope Ang! I wore Prada shoes man."
Prah: "You know they say that in your past life, you were prolly connected with the people you're close to now."
Moo: "Really? Omgsz, that means you all must've been in the Vatican with me lah!"

(Starting bets are in, everybody contemplates their cards.)
WM: "Anybody raising?"
Ade: "I'd like to ra-"
Bee: "NO NO NO NOBODY IS RAISING OPEN THE CARDS HAHAHAHHA THANKS NOBODY IS RAISING HAHAHA!"

LSP: "Eh, have you heard of Naughty America?"
Me: "What, no."
LSP: "You, Sal?"
Sal: "Ehhh? No lah."
LSP: "Kelvin, have you ever heard of Naughty America?"
Kelvin: "No. What's that."
LSP: "Wah lao, you all are such liars lah. Never heard of Naughty America, PFFFFFT!"
Me: "Wtf is Naughty America?!"
LSP: "IT'S THIS DAMN LAME WESTERN PORN SITE LAH!"

Kelvin: "So ... went for your medical checkup already?"
LSP: "Yeh."
Kelvin: "So ... doctor told you to strip and cough?"
LSP: "Yeh. He got slapped when I coughed, and he told me it's the first time this has happened to him so don't bother lying to me lah."
Kelvin: "Yehhh, I know man. When I coughed, he got blasted through the wall into the other room. Told me that was the first time that had happened too."

I need to shop for new clothes as most of my pants are getting too big for me. Anybody, shopping? No? Anybody, shopping? No?

Date:	2007-05-09 01:14
Subject:	Take Me Out.
Security:	Public
Mood:	content
Music:	Comedy Of Summer Rain (Tower Of Foil)

Positives In Jules' Super Exciting Life:

• Got paid + pocket money. I've got monies! *Swims in vast ocean of one-cent coins.
• Pay got raised thankyougodforblessings.
  
• Got new off-white Chuck Taylors. (The saleswoman laughed when I walked into the store in my old ones. -_-)
  
• Lost weight. And even though I know that I still have a lot more to go ... still a positive!
  
• Smoking a lot more = Eating a lot less. I'm working towards my goal of 10 kgs.
• Getting a new MacBook HAHAAH YES! *Does jerking off movement.
• Reading a lot of literature = Becoming more intellectual. :) I just finished William Golding's Lord of the Flies. Holy cow, the ending's so sad. Started on Hemingway, what sehhhhzxzx~~
  
• Really really pissinmypants excited about University.
  
• Mel + Bert + Murph + everybody else currently overseas is finally coming back. (Guys, please. YSL Menthols/Marlboro Menthol Lights okay. Don't be stupid and try to smuggle them over. Trust me. -_- Just declare and I'll pay you back.)
• In terms of friendships and family, everything is going relatively well.
• Charbs&Co Poker + Mahjong Night on Friday at Ade's! :) :) :) Finally!

• Am always tired because of work, which cuts down on time spent with fwenzxz.
• Found out that CAMERA OBSCURA IS COMING TO SINGAPORE FOR BAYBEATS FUCK! WHERE THE HELL WILL I BE DURING BAYBEATS?! YESSSS, YOU'VE GUESSED IT. MILKING COWS IN FUCKING PERTH! -_- Knnccbxzx.
• Remember my new off-white Chuck Taylors? Yehhh, I spilt a shitload of crap on them and now they look like I wore them and walked into a pile of pig shit.
• Smoking a lot more = Dying a lot faster. -_-
• Really really pissinmypants scared about University and about leaving. I suddenly don't feel like going, because that would save me from a motherload of problems. Two and a half more months, kids! Better grab your chance now and meet me while you still can.

Date:	2007-05-05 13:07
Subject:	This Quiet Town.
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold
Music:	Death On The Stairs (The Libertines)

Not bad, not bad at all.

The night spent at Home Club did NOT consist of me drinking too much and going completely whacked so for that, I'm terribly grateful. Sal the Sweaty and Ade applauded me later on during supper for not ending up in the bushes or needing someone to save me from drowning in the river. I mean, not bad right! Sure, I got high but that was all let out on the dance floor and in the toilets. :)

Someone danced like a complete mad man too. Siao.

Prah, I'm sorry that it didn't work out! Is it hurting you badly? Are you hurted?

The group was bigger this time because of the added numbers but it was still amazing fun. I forgot how much I could smile when at Home with muh homiez, y'all.

Had quite a scary dream just now. We were all back in school when Ade and WM decided to make off for the library. After not coming back for a long while, Prah told Lao Sai Pants to call them. Nobody was picking up so we started calling hospitals and found out that Ade&WM got into an accident which left the both of them unconscious and severely injured. I remember crying and Bee comforting me, Mavis looking very shocked, Prah wailing like a mad Indian woman and Lao Sai Pants just shitting his pants. -_- What a weird dream.

On a non-related note, Sheva needs a groin operation. Hahahahahahahah! -Inserts jokes about his well endowed penis and my engulfing vagina with a G-spot the size of Texas.

Date:	2007-05-02 20:42
Subject:	Off So Well.
Security:	Public
Mood:	disappointed
Music:	Night Will Come (Will Stratton)

WHY CHELSEA DIDN'T WIN LIVERPUI LIVERPOOL:

1. Hello hello. This magnificent, courageous, fantabulous team has been fighting at all fronts okay. Things didn't slow down after the Carling Cup win. We've had to fight for the Premiership + FA Cup + Champions League titles. So actually, we didn't have a break. (This is not comparable to Man Utd because that team has sold their souls to the Devil. That's why they can still play like mad. They're all fucking robots.)
2. We've had massive internal problems as well lah. Abramovich being a dipshit, Mourinho plagued with rumours about his departure, Ballack and Obi Mikel picking fights with anything that walks, etc etc. Not easy to handle!
3. Cech's head is still a bit wonky, that's how he'd managed to let in Agger's goal.
4. Terry's head is ALSO a bit wonky.
5. This is also partly my fault. I shouldn't have been shagging Sheva so much. I'M SORRY FOR BEING SELFISH!

Ohhhhhhhh Sheva. Kiss me with your sweet lips of passion. Nyum nyum.

Date:	2007-05-01 00:11
Subject:	Logically Speaking.
Security:	Public
Mood:	angry
Music:	To And Fro (Architecture In Helsinki)

Okay, what I'd previously written might've been uncalled for, and I apologise for that and only that. However I do think that you were being the unreasonable one, saying things which didn't make any sense at all. It's not fair for you to insult me to such an extent when I did make it very fucking clear. And it also wasn't fair that you could disappear for a while then come back and expect me to pretend that everything's okay. What you said really pissed me off, but I'm going about this very logically and calmly. If you want to talk about it like adults, fine. But please get your fucking anger in check before even thinking of contacting me.

That's all I have to say. Thanks for ruining my otherwise super fucking fantastic day too. Your screaming down at me over the phone at 11.45 p.m. was greatly appreciated.

Date:	2007-04-28 21:18
Subject:	Afraid To Fall.
Security:	Public
Mood:	nauseated
Music:	Babydoll (Cat Power)

The week has been immensely fantastic for my ego because I got hit on by boys, men AND lesbians. Yes, I've really got a lesbian face. Interesting.

Dino dragged me to the doctor's yesterday when I arrived at work looking like Death. I had no idea how shitty I was really feeling till I was on the floor, crying uncontrollably while smoking. Apparently, I've got some stomach virus AND am suffering from starvation. I actually burst out laughing when the doctor told me so, because it totally reminded me of those Ethiopian children you see in the Unicef videos with flies buzzing all around their forlorn faces.

I'm a starving Ethiopian child. -_- IRONY AT ITS BEST!

Am really liking things a lot now (besides the fact that MAN UTD WON EVERTON AND CHELSEA DREW CHAO CHEEBYE NAO HIAH FUCK FUCK NNNGHH). Sometimes I wish that life could just stop and loop over and over, just for me to relive the finer moments. Maybe it's only because I'm scared of what lies ahead ... which is still one big fucking blur.

UWA called me today. Though I've already made my mind up about Murdoch, they were trying to sweet talk me over with praises about my GPA score. And I tell you, it feels damn good having one of Aussie's G8 Universities courting you HAHAHA.

Watched the Phantom of the Opera just now, was my dad's birthday present to my mum. Everything was fucking spectacular but goddamnit, I kept wanting to laugh because all I could think of was Moo being Emmy Rossum, WM singing and Prah being the horse aka BLACK Beauty. Hahahahaha. Being with Charbs&Co is completely ruining the artistic side of me.

Date:	2007-04-26 00:40
Subject:	Fuck.
Security:	Public
Mood:	listless
Music:	Brianstorm (Arctic Monkeys)

My bathroom floor is in a bloody mess now.

I am srsly never ever never ever never ever never ever never ever never ever never ever ever going drinking with Dino again. Especially in a lesbian pub. Especially with the apple of her eye working there. NEVER. EVER.

Oh fuck, I saw some blood mingled with my vomit just now. Moreover, I've been feeling nauseous and haven't been eating in the past three days. I really think that I'm going to die so please prepare your bouquets of sunflowers and black outfits because you're going to have to attend my funeral very soon.

Or maybe I'm just preggers ... ... ... EEEEEEEE.

Date:	2007-04-22 15:35
Subject:	Big Poppa And Diamond Girl.
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake
Music:	Bring It (Cobra Starship)

I took a smoke-analyser test at the Health Fair today and measured a 0.05% which is actually higher than Ade, who has been smoking since she was born. -_- I also took a chiropractic test on my posture and the result came out much better than expected, since my posture is really like shit. My mum constantly complains that I slouch like a sloth.

When I'd arrived at the exhibition hall to visit the gang, Ade and Prah hugged me while looking terribly excited.

Me: "Wtf. Why're you guys so happy?"
Ade: "Feels like I haven't seen you in a damn long time, Jules! I miss you!"
Prah: "Yeh man! Feels like a month!"

The last time we saw each other was the sleepover at Ade's ... on Wednesday. -_- We're srsly fucking disgusting. -_-

Date:	2007-04-19 21:48
Subject:	Billy Joe!
Security:	Public
Mood:	drained
Music:	Glasshouses (Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly)

I'm quite literally dying trying to get used to this whole 'wake up early-go to work-be responsible' jig. Work is killing me, but at least I've got my various sources of entertainment there. Maybe I do make friends easier than I think.

Today, two of my colleagues asked if I was lesbian. -_-" I told Dino, who merely reiterated about how she saw this coming and blahblah. It's not even funny anymore lah. Do I really have such a lezzie face?

Date:	2007-04-16 23:31
Subject:	Precious Little Seconds.
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	Portions Of Foxes (Rilo Kiley)

I've been very weepy in the past few days. -_- It's prolly just that time of the month ... when my chee starts bleeding like a slaughtered pig. But wah, crying while watching Coach Carter (2005)? I must really have a problem.

Date:	2007-04-15 00:43
Subject:	Operation Eyes Closed.
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	Black Dollar Bills (Hope Of The States)

So the week had me crying over Jodi Picoult's The Pact, welcoming Ade and her currently super loose cb back (finally lah), running away from Ade's gay dog which smells like a cross between a dumping ground and Death, watching Jim Carrey act retarded in The Number 23 (2007) which was quite ... dumb, identifying 23s all over the place, visiting Sentosa and their crazy waving student workers, sand-sculpting a misshaped body with three tits, a slanted penis, two huge testicles and bee-hoon pubes, (not really) helping Prah with her Tarot Card Reading stall at Home Club and getting a job in a cafe with Dino which starts this coming Monday.

T'was quite a productive week eh, despite me missing out on the launch of the newly renovated Home Club because I was too busy reading and lazing around on my bed ... which was fucking satisfying and havocxz too.

Classic classic classic shit:

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH It kept me laughing for quite long.

Date:	2007-04-11 02:04
Subject:	Music Halls And Dying Cities.
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy
Music:	Plasticities (Andrew Bird)

Everyone keeps telling me how quickly the next three months are going to pass before it's time for me to leave for Perth. Like I don't know that right, cheebye? -_- People are always asking if I'm feeling scared or excited and well, I haven't really thought about leaving yet. I'm more focused on the three months I have left.

Lots of things can happen in three months okay. Personally, I'm hoping for a little hymen tearing but ... well, let's not hope for too much first lah.

Quote of the week
WM: "You must play mahjong with lots of grace, finesse and passion! When you throw your tile down, you must throw it with great power and ferocity."

Date:	2007-04-08 18:43
Subject:	The Rapture @ Zouk.
Security:	Public
Mood:	jubilant
Music:	Silent Stream Of Snow (Tower Of Foil)

You cannot imagine how fantastic last night was. :)

Date:	2007-04-06 19:37
Subject:	Finding Johnny Strangelove.
Security:	Public
Mood:	discontent
Music:	Yoga Fire (Free The Robots)

To be called 'cold-hearted' once is forgivable. To be called 'cold-hearted' twice is suspicious. To be called that three times in two years ... it simply means that something's wrong with me right? :| So ... why am I so abnormal?

All in all, it's prolly beneficial to society if my cooch remains untouched. THOU SHALT TOUCH NOT THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT!

On a lighter note, I've found out that when you look at the following two pictures while listening to Showroom, it really seems as though the people in the photos are dancing. Especially Bee, with his big fiery head.

Pretty. :)

I really want to watch Lollilove (2004) but can't seem to find it anywhere. It's a mockumentary about a hippie couple (nngh, hippies) giving out lollipops with cheerful slogans on the wrappers to the homeless. James Gunn's acting in it too! I loved his Tromeo and Juliet (1996) adaptation, absolute classic.

Aiyooo, so cute! When I become fucking rich, I'll give out Durex condoms to encourage safe sex and lesser babies = lesser children in five years' time. Yes, itz workz. And if requested, I'll even cut fallopian tubes and penises off for free! Zomg, it'll be a charitable organisation lah!
 

( Watched Sunshine or Blades Of Glory yet? I have! )

And holy shiz, apparently a new version of Faces Of Death (1978) is going to be made. Zomg, I'm not going to be watching it because the entire series is just fucking sick. They're almost as bad as the Guinea Pig films, of which I've watched only HALF of Mermaid In A Manhole (1988) and nearly puked my guts out.

Date:	2007-04-03 17:02
Subject:	CIGARETTE SMOKE IN YOUR EYES.
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	Le Disko (Shiny Toy Guns)

Date:	2007-03-31 23:32
Subject:	Fashionista Enough?
Security:	Public
Mood:	geeky
Music:	Heaven (The Rapture)

Okay doods. I'm seriously ... seriously not-even-a-single-bit-funny bored. Am done with The Office (UK), read The Time Traveler's Wife again (and cried like hell too) and packed my room THRICE. Can't be bothered to find a writing job because most companies prefer long term freelancers so ... I'm actually THIIIIIIIIS close to jumping off my building because I'd frankly rather be dead than be this fucking bored.

Home is currently under renovations so after the alldressedup Spring/Summer Collection show (the jackets are so purrrddy), Moo and her friend, Shanna, joined us to go to Bar Baa Black Chic (I know, wtf right) for indie clubbinzz. The place is nice, but the location of it is just really ... whoa. Walking around Little India at 12 a.m. is something that shouldn't be done alone.

But well. I had fun. It was more of the company than anything else though.

Hi b4by~~ d0n'T y0u Kn0e mE? i'M y0uR sUpeR LuRvEr 2nitE~~~

Date:	2007-03-29 22:19
Subject:	Wide Eyed And Open Mouthed.
Security:	Public
Mood:	lethargic
Music:	The Science Of Your Mind (The Comas)

I'm finally done with The Office (US) and ... ... am currently searching for something else to occupy my time with. The next episode will only be out on April 5th! -_- How will Jim handle the very pissed off Roy?! Will Pam and Jim just fuck already, goddamnit?! And can Dwight get any more funnier?! Oooh, the suspense!

And .... now I've nothing else to watch. -_- Chao cheebye.

This is bloody ridiculous. I can't believe what a bloody pig I am. -_- Besides some work for World Scientific and preparing for Uni ... ... I'm basically damn free! I've been sleeping at 7 a.m. and waking up at 3 p.m. and doing very useless and unproductive things inbetween (I tried making paper hearts ... but nope, couldn't fold the little top part things because my fingers are too cheebye fat). Seriously guys, I'm not even kidding. If you're free, just give me a call. I can guarantee you that 94% of the time, I'll be free. Or sleeping. Or watching shows on my laptop. -____-"

DISCLAIMER: All super duper ugly photos are completely unedited and very bad for health. So if you've got a history of heart diseases or some shit, I'd suggest you divert your eyes to somewhere else. These pictures could kill you. Srsly.

Monday was spent with WM, Moo and Anne. Though nothing spectacular, the night was still fucking classic. It started out normally enough, actually ...

One of the nicer pictures of the evening.

Date:	2007-03-25 19:29
Subject:	Do The Twist.
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored
Music:	Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken (Camera Obscura)

OH MY FUCK I AM SO BORED OMGSZWTFBBQBLEHBLEHBLEHHHHHHH!!

Instead of doing my work for World Scientific, I've been spending the past few days catching up on The Office (US) and binging on a motherload of chocolates. My will is so weak!

Yet upon watching Jim and Pam flirt so adorably (they have to end up together soon or I'll get damn fucking pissed off), Kevin and Stanley giving super stoned answers all the time and Dwight being such a fucknut, it's perfectly justifiable to yield to such temptations. After all, who can deny being intensely drawn towards Dwight K. Schrute?

(Picture is mandatory for quiz.)